Game Of Awesome Writing

Over the last few weeks some of my home base and I played a game called Game Of Awesome.
Game Of Awesome is where you have four categories and then the person that is the judge picks a card and then the cards that you have, you have to pick one of them that matches the word that the judge picks. When everyone has picked a card, the judge turns all the cards over and chooses 2 that matches the word. We used the words as story ideas. We played 2 rounds of Game of Awesome and the words that we got were.. Destruction\ A Human Wrecking Ball\ Splitting the atom. 
My focus for this writing was: Speech Marks.
For my Writing I chose Splitting The Atom. Here is a few paragraphs of my story.



                                      The Outstanding Adventure!!

Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Lulu. Lulu was a naughty kid but had the best imagination ever. When Lulu was born she had cancer. Her parents could not stand Lulu having cancer so they moved to a different country and left Lulu behind. Lulu’s parents did not know that the cancer could be cured so when Lulu was all cured, the doctors told her to live on her own. Lulu was a bit sad that her parents had gone but on the other hand she could do whatever she wanted. Now Lulu did not want to be naughty she wanted to be the best in the world. So she decided that she would make an outstanding plan to make her parents come home.  Her first part of the plan was to go home and eat. Lulu did have some food at the hospital but most of it was disgusting so when it arrived she would just push it away.

For dinner she was going to have gooey eggs with grainy toast and of course her favourite  crispy bacon. She loved that! When she had finished cooking and was about to eat she heard a phone ring. She asked herself. What could that be? Lulu got up from the table and followed the sound till she was in the room. To her surprise it was her dad's phone. She pressed the button and it was her mum texting her dad saying “Hi Lulu.” “How are you doing”  “We are in Australia having so much fun.” Love you”  Lulu was so surprised that her mum and dad were texting her. They must have left her dad's phone here so they could talk to Lulu. Lulu scurried quickly and picked up the phone. She did the password and went back to finish her dinner.

While she was eating the rest of her dinner, she read all the texts from the last few weeks and then decided to text back. She said “ Hi Mum and Dad. How you doing?  I am all cured. Hip Hip Hooray!! I would really like you guys to come back to New Zealand and be with me as I am very sad and need some company.  Love you anyway. From Lulu.”

She sent the text and turned the phone off. She really hoped that they would text back tonight.

Once she had finished her dinner she got out of the broken chair and went to clean her plate. Once that was done she went to get ready for bed. There was not that much to do as most of her stuff had disappeared. When that was done she grabbed the phone off the table and went to bed. What she wanted to do is she wanted to find out how this had all started. Firstly she started with the contacts. Nothing! Next Lulu checked missed calls. Nothing! She tried the last part which was… Messages and Nothing! That’s Weird. Where  could everything be? Once that was done she put the phone down and went to sleep.

During the night, Lulu woke up. She woke up because she heard noises. The noises were loud and scary. Lulu decided to get up and leave. She could not stand having these noises when it was her first day back at home. So she got up, got dressed, packed her bag and left. Along the way she dreamed of having her parents with her. Lulu started to cry. She missed them to bits.

What did you think of my story?
Feel free to comment and give me some feedback on what to work on.